Josh Haddon
The Funny Thing About Cancer, by Josh Haddon
portugal

Writing Y’all From Lisbon, Portugal!

Josh Haddon, the author of this book, found out about a month ago that his cancer has spread a ton and is now considered ‘incurable’ by multiple of the best cancer doctors in Canada. He set out on a European adventure a couple weeks ago and hopes to stretch his budget to stay until Christmas. Upon return he will be trying cannabis oil as a last ditch effort and then hopefully, health and wealth permitting, heading back out around the end of January for a 6-8 week SouthEast Asian tour. Here is a an excerpt of one of his recent writings in Lisbon, Portugal;

“November 8th, 2015;
Reading over my writing the past 8 days has left me upset and a little disgusted with the simplicity in which I chose to reflect on my past few days. Fuelled half by too much booze and half laziness; or better yet!… A complete disregard for the the importance of my final days, I am currently sitting at a laundromat in Lisbon, Portugal with tears streaming down my face, absolutely ashamed. For the first time in months, I am again, feeling afraid to die.

I set out to write a book with the goal of cheering up cancer patients. This plan of writing humourous cancer-themed tales and then publishing them, boy that seemed super easy enough. I remember when I was in the early months of having cancer, despite the doctors relaying to me my 2-5% chance of living 3 years, I thought for certain I would be the outlier. I would be the guy to beat it. No fucking question.

Now, as the grim reaper is looking over my shoulder daily, releasing this book has gone from ‘easy enough’ to an anxiety filled battle with what to include, who to mention, things to touch on and so on and so forth. The fear that this book is now not only just a simple funny book to make cancer patients chuckle, the fear that it is now so much more – my dying manifesto if you will. Well, this all has me absolutely sick to my stomach when I go to hit send on the final edits to my publisher.

My hand is currently shaking just from writing that line my journal. It is daunting to me that I have that level of fear, anxiety and apprehension of publishing that I sweat and shake just thinking about it.”

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Comments (4)

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    kerry

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    Hey, i wish i was there to hug you i am in the same boat but we have to live for each day bas nest we can and dont give uo its really important to keep fighting as our ww2 PM Churchill once said when we the UK had our backs to the wall and little hope..we will fight them on the beaches and fight them on the streets,we will never surrender xx

    Reply

  • Avatar

    kerry

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    Hey, i wish i was there to hug you i am in the same boat but we have to live for each day best we can and dont give up its really important to keep fighting as our ww2 PM Churchill once said when we the UK had our backs to the wall and little hope..we will fight them on the beaches and fight them on the streets,we will never surrender xx

    Reply

  • Avatar

    Shane Bennett

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    Josh, I’ve been waiting for a blog update from you and this one was worth the wait. Fear is a natural feeling, it’s good to cry sometimes, it means you feel. Just keep doing what you love and making sure when it’s your time that you have no regrets.

    -Shane

    Reply

  • Avatar

    Chris

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    Josh,

    I have been following your progress since your first AMA on Reddit awhile back. I hate to hear the bad news, but I’m glad to hear your making the most out of it by traveling and gaining new experiences. I hope that some of the fear and anxiety your having now subsides so that you may find peace. I wish you the best and hope that whatever happens is on your terms.

    This quote has always helped me through some dark times in my life.
    “The journey doesn’t end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take. The grey rain curtain of this world rolls back and all turns to silver glass. And then you see it. White shores, and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise.”

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Orders have been stopped until Josh's book is published.